What part of 'you're not invited' did you not understand?
Sigh. I've had the first bit of wedding 'drama'. None of my family from California is invited to the wedding. There's too many aunts/uncles/cousins and if I invite 1, I've got to invite them all. They are all also fairly high maintenance and high drama and I'm not particularly close to any of them. My mom had let them know I was engaged and that is was going to be a small ceremony with only a few people. Somehow, she started getting the impression from one of my aunts that she thought she was coming. So, to nip that in the bud, I sent an email to all the cousins and aunts/uncles that the wedding was going to be a small, private affair in austin and then we'd come out to california later in the year and have a little party out there for everyone. My aunt then responded. "We heard about the wedding and Uncle M and I thought we'd fly back with Nana to the wedding. Thought this would be nice for Nana to attend since she didn't attend your sister's wedding. Also to seee where everyone lives. If this is going to be a problem, let me know."
Yeah, it's a fucking problem. That's why you WEREN'T INVITED. So, basically she just invited herself to my wedding without even a phone call to me (she never even called to congratulate me on the engagement). And don't try to guilt me about my sister's wedding. Even my parents didn't attend that one since it was quick on a naval base in VA - I was the only family there. You know, this is why I'm paying for the whole thing myself. So I can't be told what I have to do for the wedding. An additional 3 people is ridiculous. I don't have room for it, and quite frankly, I don't want to make the room. We've been out in Austin for six years now and my parents always have offered to come pick up Nana and fly her out here to see us. She always declines. And now my aunt wants to come out and bring nana and oh by the way we'll be attending your wedding? I don't fucking think so. I'm not going to have any time for them to visit and show them around. I was looking forward to my CA friends coming out and going out to BBQ, maybe the Broken Spoke, maybe shooting, I don't know. But, driving around my aunt/uncle/nana is a whole different thing. And it will completely change the feel of the wedding (yes I know I'm being unreasonable...but I'm the BRIDE I get to be). As it stands right now, it's just parents and our friends. I felt it was going to be casual and fun. What's my aunt and uncle going to do? Sit in a corner? I'm not having a church wedding, we're not doing a catholic mass, we're not doing dancing. It's a friggin 5 minute ceremony and then some really great food. They can come sometime before or sometime after the wedding if they want to visit. Just not for the wedding weekend itself. Argh. My mom said she'll call her tomorrow and talk to her about it. My mom has a hard time standing up to her sister, but I figured I'd let her take a stab at it and be diplomatic and if I need to come in and be a bitch, that's fine. I don't want my aunt and uncle at my wedding. Simple enough.
Yeah, it's a fucking problem. That's why you WEREN'T INVITED. So, basically she just invited herself to my wedding without even a phone call to me (she never even called to congratulate me on the engagement). And don't try to guilt me about my sister's wedding. Even my parents didn't attend that one since it was quick on a naval base in VA - I was the only family there. You know, this is why I'm paying for the whole thing myself. So I can't be told what I have to do for the wedding. An additional 3 people is ridiculous. I don't have room for it, and quite frankly, I don't want to make the room. We've been out in Austin for six years now and my parents always have offered to come pick up Nana and fly her out here to see us. She always declines. And now my aunt wants to come out and bring nana and oh by the way we'll be attending your wedding? I don't fucking think so. I'm not going to have any time for them to visit and show them around. I was looking forward to my CA friends coming out and going out to BBQ, maybe the Broken Spoke, maybe shooting, I don't know. But, driving around my aunt/uncle/nana is a whole different thing. And it will completely change the feel of the wedding (yes I know I'm being unreasonable...but I'm the BRIDE I get to be). As it stands right now, it's just parents and our friends. I felt it was going to be casual and fun. What's my aunt and uncle going to do? Sit in a corner? I'm not having a church wedding, we're not doing a catholic mass, we're not doing dancing. It's a friggin 5 minute ceremony and then some really great food. They can come sometime before or sometime after the wedding if they want to visit. Just not for the wedding weekend itself. Argh. My mom said she'll call her tomorrow and talk to her about it. My mom has a hard time standing up to her sister, but I figured I'd let her take a stab at it and be diplomatic and if I need to come in and be a bitch, that's fine. I don't want my aunt and uncle at my wedding. Simple enough.
posted by Speck at
6:10 PM
1 Comments:
Argh... Sorry to hear you're having to deal with this. It's a shame how some people take it upon themselves to take an event that's supposed to be for *you* and turn it into their own social gathering.
No, you're not "being unreasonable." What you'd end up with is having to answer a constant stream of, "Why didn't you do this thing that way?" kind of questions...because of course they came all this way and the least you could do is make it interesting for them.
Deep inside I'm sure they're all well-meaning, but I guess what bugs me is that some people can't figure out that some of us don't do things because that's what everyone else does. This is a happy time for you, celebrating the beginning of a life together with someone you care deeply about. For me (someday), and I guess you (now) too, that celebration doesn't need to include an excuse to bring together family and old acquaintances you never see.
By
cpu, at 11:12 PM, July 21, 2010
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