Decision

There's a girl (Jaime) that I'd been friends with since second grade. But, when we went to college we drifted apart a bit. I visited her in San Diego and she visited me in StL, but I could tell we weren't going to stay best friends. I was very focused and knew that I wanted to go into business. She switched her major several times and she is still in school now for Optomotry. I think this is her final year. It's been hard finding things in common with her to talk about. It's odd how Andrea, Nathan, and Heidi are all working and all bought their own homes. We seem to still have a lot to talk about and enjoy hanging out - even though we are all doing different things. Whereas with Jaime, our conversations kinda fumble a bit. I am also hurt and pissed off at how little she is making an effort to stay friends. All friendships take work and effort. Even though Andrea, Nathan, and Heidi are still in CA, we talk on the phone every couple of months. My major point of contention is over reunion last August. I took off a week from work (I think Wed to Wed) so I could hang out with everyone and so I'd have time after the reunion in case I ran into anyone I hadn't seen in awhile. Nathan, Jayson, Heidi, and Andrea really made the effort to meet for lunch or movies or whatever. Andrea invited me to her house in the bay area to hang out -even though she had work the next day. I really appreciated the fact that they took time to spend with me while I was out. We didn't know the next time I'd be back in CA. I only saw Jaime on the day of the reunion even though she just lived an hour away in Oakland. She made no effort to invite me over or to meet for lunch some other day. I felt that basically showed she didn't care to spend time with me. Ok, whatever.

In the spirit of friendship I called Jaime on her Birthday in Oct and left a VM and never heard back. My birthday is eight days later and I never heard from her. I sent her a Christmas card. I never heard from her. I sent out an email to everyone about how I wanted to visit CA in March/April and to let me know which weekends would work best or which wouldn't work at all. Everyone responded pretty quickly because they knew I'd have to buy the tickets and get the time off of work. Jaime did not respond for quite a long time. At this point I figured ok, that's it, she's made it pretty clear she doesn't want to make the effort to stay in touch. Then, a month or so after my email, she responds saying that she's getting married in July and to let her know if I need hotel reservations. What? (yes, I knew she was engaged - but she couldn't make a phone call about this?) I don't even get an official save-the-date card or anything? At first I planned on going, but now, I am truly thinking about just forgetting the whole thing. Another friend is getting married in Chicago the following weekend and I definitely want to attend that one. So, why should I spend $400 on the plane ticket, money for a rental car, money for the hotel, and money for a dress and a present for someone I haven't even SPOKEN to in six months? I don't care that she's busy with the wedding plans. She doesn't have time for a quick call? I think her actions at reunion said pretty clearly that she didn't want to spend time with me. So why should I spend money on her? I talked to Nathan about this yesterday and he said if I did this I'd be pretty much putting the nail in the coffin for our friendship. My response to this was 'What friendship?' So I guess I'll have to write her a letter and tell her to take me off the guest list. It sucks, but there it is. Comments?